My blog has become awfully Nuts magazine recently. So Ive decided to show my softer side. I went to see my girlfriend. We had planned a meal in Fridays. You can tell I'm very excited.
I got the train to her place. The train went through a town where metal railing always bends to the left. Its a magnetic enigma.
I got to Kim's house and threw my stuff down. I had forgotten that Kim has the smallest bed in the world and the most ridiculous slippers/snow boots.
Soon it was time for dinner. We set off. Kim was in good spirits because she likes TGI's. She wasn't posing at all here, no, not at all.
We ordered drinks and I managed to get the most perfectly poured pint any man ever did see. Apart from the spillage. Maybe I'll downgrade it to a mere excellent pint.
The menu was East meets West. I always think thats a bad idea...Cold war, Vietnam, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. I opted for two western dishes.
Kim's friend Susie and her friend Joe were in attendance. We sat boy boy and girl girl, just like primary school. This was girl banter.
I was horrified when I realised what they were talking about. How to smother a hamster. The perfect crime. They agreed on a perfect technique which Kim demonstrated.
The food was taking ages. People weren't happy. Especially these two hamster haters.
Hallelujah. Bits of chicken with a sauce to dip them into, like chicken chips.
Joe seemed happy with his starter of macoroni cheese in breadcrumbs.
Carnage.
I decided to hit the cocktails and had a Mojito. Kim hated it and said it was all ice and leaves. I quite liked it.
The cocktails were a good luck charm. My main came soon after they were ordered. I had ribs. I could picture the text now 'Hey Kim, fancy coming out for ribs and mojitos, will be a blast! xx' hmmm...maybe not.
After polishing that off, Susie and Joe ordered more cocktails. I hadn't checked the list so made an impulse decision and hoped it would turn out okay. Instead...this vision of camp minced its way over to my table.
Joe commented that the cocktails him and Susie ordered looked like concrete.
I was loving cocktail carnage.
Time to sort the bill out. This turned from basic mathematics to a 3 minute discussion, me and Joe weren't too fussed and just said we would pay whatever, but for the girls things had to be penny perfect.
Finally it was sorted. There's your filthy money, I want it to go to te west side of the kitchen seeing as I ate nothing Eastern.
After closer inspection Joe's drink did look like concrete. I thought it looked more like one of those soil samples you do in school where they can tell what happened hundreds of years ago.
Joe didn't want his drink anymore. He had already eaten his daily guideline amount of gravel so Kim jumped at the chance.
Susie liked her concrete drink, but forgave Joe for giving his away so easily.
All in all it was a good night. Fed and watered I returned home. There is no moral to this story.
I got the train to her place. The train went through a town where metal railing always bends to the left. Its a magnetic enigma.
I got to Kim's house and threw my stuff down. I had forgotten that Kim has the smallest bed in the world and the most ridiculous slippers/snow boots.
Soon it was time for dinner. We set off. Kim was in good spirits because she likes TGI's. She wasn't posing at all here, no, not at all.
We ordered drinks and I managed to get the most perfectly poured pint any man ever did see. Apart from the spillage. Maybe I'll downgrade it to a mere excellent pint.
The menu was East meets West. I always think thats a bad idea...Cold war, Vietnam, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. I opted for two western dishes.
Kim's friend Susie and her friend Joe were in attendance. We sat boy boy and girl girl, just like primary school. This was girl banter.
I was horrified when I realised what they were talking about. How to smother a hamster. The perfect crime. They agreed on a perfect technique which Kim demonstrated.
The food was taking ages. People weren't happy. Especially these two hamster haters.
Hallelujah. Bits of chicken with a sauce to dip them into, like chicken chips.
Joe seemed happy with his starter of macoroni cheese in breadcrumbs.
Carnage.
I decided to hit the cocktails and had a Mojito. Kim hated it and said it was all ice and leaves. I quite liked it.
The cocktails were a good luck charm. My main came soon after they were ordered. I had ribs. I could picture the text now 'Hey Kim, fancy coming out for ribs and mojitos, will be a blast! xx' hmmm...maybe not.
After polishing that off, Susie and Joe ordered more cocktails. I hadn't checked the list so made an impulse decision and hoped it would turn out okay. Instead...this vision of camp minced its way over to my table.
Joe commented that the cocktails him and Susie ordered looked like concrete.
I was loving cocktail carnage.
Time to sort the bill out. This turned from basic mathematics to a 3 minute discussion, me and Joe weren't too fussed and just said we would pay whatever, but for the girls things had to be penny perfect.
Finally it was sorted. There's your filthy money, I want it to go to te west side of the kitchen seeing as I ate nothing Eastern.
After closer inspection Joe's drink did look like concrete. I thought it looked more like one of those soil samples you do in school where they can tell what happened hundreds of years ago.
Joe didn't want his drink anymore. He had already eaten his daily guideline amount of gravel so Kim jumped at the chance.
Susie liked her concrete drink, but forgave Joe for giving his away so easily.
All in all it was a good night. Fed and watered I returned home. There is no moral to this story.
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