When everyone rocked up at Wetherspoons to see me and Kev, Ross rocked into action straight away with his magic trick. Someone touches a glass while Ross is looking away and he magically picks which glass the person touched. He downgraded to coins, but apparently his magic still applies.
Which coin to choose?
Ross guessed right. Richy looked impressed but Nathan wasn't having any of it. He said Thom and I were in cahoots. Nathan has a suspicious mind. Maybe he should work in the Police. The magic policeman.
Kev thought he had it figured, he had a trick up his sleeve to catch Ross out. Check out the magic policeman's beady eye on the right.
Kev hovered his finger and touched exactly none.
Ross guessed he had touched none. He was very smug.
Kev and magic policeman weren't convinced.
Richy wasn't bothered, he was too happy to be sceptical. Happy Richy.
Even the magic policeman lightened up.
Richy always peaks very early in the night. All the early signs were there. His girlfriend Michelle is also an early peaker. Every couple needs something in common.
Simon (On the right) made a rare appearance. His inexperience showed when he asked where we were going next. Kevs reaction to this shows it all. He had thrown petrol on a fire ready to erupt.
Ross wanted to go to a new indie night. He assumed everyone would agree.
Michelle wanted to go to Bliss, and had got Sharon and fellow early peaker Richy onside. Michelle was making business calls.
Ross suddenly realised he was going to get mowed by a Bliss flavoured bandwagon. ATTACK ROSS ATTACK!!! (Notice how scared Nathan is)
Ross told us he wasn't going to anywhere which played hip hop. He still had Kev and Thom onside though? Nope. They quickly jumped his sinking ship. It was now everyone vs him. About to be steamrollered by the bandwagon, he was getting more and more aggressive.
Ross and Thom tried to reason with him, they just wanted everyone to stick together, it was like Lennon and Ghandi trying to pacify Genghis Khan.
Eventually Ross realised the game was up and compromised with one drink at Bliss and if its shit we would move on. He seemed happy with this...
Genghis' pent up anger was still brewing though, and he told Nathan he could beat him in an armwrestle. The magic policeman was very amused.
Ross saw Kev laughing at the thought of him winning an armwrestle.
...So challenged him too
The bouncers soon put an end to that tomfoolery but more armwrestling carnage to come. Simon pointed an exciting mullet to me.
The guy was blantantly a hero of heterosexuality, just like Nathan....Dangerous.
Camp.
I tried to initiate a moving on. I was sick of Spoons. I made these clowns neck their drinks. Im such a gent.
They're not really clowns, they are nice. When we got outside I saw a sign. I know not what it said.
Ross brought up the armwrestling and challenged Kev once more. Kev accepted.
1....2...3...and GO!
Kev won even without removing his eye shields. At least Ross could take comfort that he could save his masculine honour in the arranged armwrestle with Nathan.
1....2.....3......and GO!
Ross had to sit there, his pride shattered. A broken man. Then came the glint. A denial glint. 'I could beat youse both up anyway' Oh Ross...Good grief. We took Ross to Bliss, a husk of a man now reduced to that 'hip hop shite'. Thom looked thoughtful.
Of course Bliss didnt play hip hop, it played the killers. Ross made a token attempt to enjoy i, but his mind had been made up in wetherspoons.
He convinced Kev and Thom to move to the indie club. I dont think it was as much him as the extortionate drinks. I think they cost rape pound fifty. Kev explained the situation and off they went.
Secrets.
A secret which made Nathan more dangerous.
Then more camp.
As if to confuse things we were then joined by some other colleagues. This is Bohemian Nathan (A seperate Nathan from magic policeman Nathan) and Steph. Nathans back is actually...a girl magnet.
Speaking of girls Sharon was in a mess.
She followed the lead of this pair of early peakers.
She was also shoeless.Like Plato from the hurricanes, or Sandie Shaw, only with the hazard of broken glass.
When we left Bliss, Sharon pointed out that her trotters were still unsheathed. Michelle began the arduous journey of putting her shoes on. Sharon was like a modern day drunken Cindarella, with her own glass slippers.
I couldn't wait any longer, it took roughly an ice age to get Sharons feet shoed. I went on ahead and joined the others in Elements. Bohemian Nathan wasn't happy. They were playing early 90's classics like JX-Theres nothing I wont do.
Id like to point Im merely calling him bohemian because he wears a headband. Steph was loving it.
Apparently ladies and disabled people are packaged into one easy to remember toilet these days.
Time for a take away. Should I have a burger? or maybe a tomato?
I plumped for a kebab.
Carnage.
I asked for large and got this.
It was horrible. I took one bite and cast it asunder on the ground. The remembered Id payed £5.50 for it and nearly cried.
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