Hello readers. Today we are going to stamp out a vermin that plagues every honest good soul that tends their lawn – that’s right, moles! Moles are an underground movement that are politically motivated to destroy stripes, neat borders and play yards. It is all part of a small mammalian commie plot to bring us down from the inside.
I am a mole and I live in a hole, phooey, they are not cuddly, try Plague,
Well, we declare war on this axis of evil! As President Bush said “ Our war on terror begins with moles but it does not end there. It will not end until every mole group of global reach has been found, stopped and defeated. And we will pursue gardens that provide aid or a safe haven to moles. Every nation in every region has a decision to make. Either you are with us or with the moles! From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support moles will be regarded us as a hostile regime.”
And as Tony Blair said “Tough on moles, tough on the causes of moles.”
Let me give you some facts so you can make up your own minds.
General Mole Facts
Moles are mammals about seven inches long that live almost entirely underground. Using their evil cylindrical-shaped bodies and webbed feet, moles practically swim in the dirt under your lawn, golf course or fields.
Moles are related to shrews and bats, not rodents. Moles have very poor eyesight, and as a result, their sense of touch and smell is very sharp
WHERE DO MOLES LIVE?
Most moles live in underground burrows, in my back garden, where they search for food and tunnel in the dirt. Most researchers believe moles are loners, living and travelling alone for the most part.
WHEN ARE MOLES MOST ACTIVE?
Moles do not hibernate, and they stay relatively active throughout most of the year, breeding in April or May, 45 days after which three or four blind and naked mole babies are born. Lets kill the mole babies!!
WHAT FOODS DO MOLES EAT?
The majority of the mole’s diet is made up of animal matter, such as insects, grubs and worms. Moles will sometimes eat beetles and baby mice,The poor baby mice!! Moles eat up to 100 percent of their body weight every day. Moles use up so much energy pushing through the ground that they have to eat a lot of food to keep going.
I WANT TO TRAP OR KILL MOLES MYSELF. IS THAT OK?
You must have special licensing to use mole poisons or repellents. Live-trapping moles is not a very effective option. We could use the moles Nemisis – the badger, but the vicious little shaving brushes can be just as tough to shift.
1 – A typical selection of essential anti-mole weaponry.
2 – Supplies – A survival kit of rations for this war of attrition
Ok, this is it, I’m going in. I need to keep spirits up with The War Cry
We're all going on a mole hunt,
We're not scared.
We got knives, hammers too!
Uh-oh.
There's tall grass ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it. We'd better crawl through it.
We're all going on a mole hunt,
We're not scared.
We got knives, hammers too!
Uh-oh.
There's mud ahead!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Better go through it.
Uh-oh.
There's a hole ahead!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Better go through it.
A mole!!! Hit it!
Despite being armed with this, Paddy ran away
He had a picture of him running away but my computer has clutzed it up. No moles were hurt in the making of this blog.
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