Its not as if the TV is centre of my life, just centre of this photo. Drying other peoples clothes is also not centre of my life, but it is centre of this photo, it really doesn't represent my life well.
To prove television isn't the centre of my life I went on an adventure, it begins with me stepping outside my door, into a land of light and shade.
Dont step on the cracks! They will swallow you up! I played safe on the grid for the time being, there was more mild peril to come.
Tanni Grey Thompson lives here, not really of course. The only discernable disability the owner of this piece of tarmac seems to have is a lazy eye and moderate obesity.
Enough of that. I had a lot of cracks in front of me to avoid if I were to make the comparitive safety of a South London main road.
Adventures should involve you going somewhere you shouldn't. That girl should have never have stepped into the wardrobe, and I was finding my own Narnia past this no entry sign.
No Mr. Tumnus to greet me, just a lot of wheelie bins. You can never have enough wheelie bins. Unless you have 6, then you have too many.
This posed a serious question...
Not any more Im not. Quick quick! I have been stabbed by a lamp-post while distracted by those birds eye scallywags.
Not really folks, its my shadow thats been stabbed.
I didn't really want to have an adventure in either of these places. So I called up my girlfriend to see if she wanted an adventure.
She did, but only if it involved eating in Balham, so I agreed.
I could have knocked up some beans and toast for £2, but I suppose even adventures have been effected by the credit crunch.
"Get out of my face you expensive wench", I didn't say. If I was going to spend that much, I may as well get a dessert from a vending machine, that might brighten up my day!
Its a cruel, cruel world though, and it got stuck. No sir, this is not an action shot, its still life.
I couldn't even look her in the face, thats the last time I go on an adventure for a week.
I had something much more exciting on the culinary horizon. But what could it be?
A 'Pukka' Pie, The pie that bullied Ginsters at school.
I know that this is exciting enough, and more than enough for any man, but theres more.
A baking tray full of frozen oven chips. Asda really has treated me, I should really find the chief exec and thank him. Below are the baking trays I snubbed, and a toaster.
Nothing to do but wait now. Notice how we have to move the washing up from the sink to the table top to get to the freezer. Its like living in Somalia, only without pirates.
This makes up for it though. This is tremendous. You put the washing up liquid in the end and theres a scourer attatched, you basically never need to wash your plates again. Enough of that, I was already thinking of dessert.
I think two bakewells will go down well.
Whats all this. I had 4 left, some scoundrel has eaten them, only one left, this calls for a note.
That will do the job I think. Notice the smiley face, just to lighten the mood. I'll have some bread and butter to make up for the loss to my belly.
SHOCK! Someone has eaten all my utterly butterly. Time for another note.
This would be the most northern shopping bag Ready Steady Cook! ever did see.
Its dinner time! I was so giddy I spilt my chips.
Look how excited I am, see you soon.
