Look! Im in a car park, like any other person. This isnt any old car park, firstly its in some field, this is a festival car park. I went to Kendal Calling to listen to music and drink beer. Even white van man came!
They obviously knew white van man might have been drink driving, thats why they fenced off shrubs from his reckless infant-killing wheels.
I didnt go on my own, I have friends. Matt in the middle was brought up in Lincoln, which is a massive field I think. He didnt like the ideas of cars on fields. Ben did, he had a straw hat and everything.
We got to the camp site and realised we werent the first there.
It didnt stop us, my friend Rob War had saved some space, I am not a practical man, so Rich put the tent up and I held some poles occasionally.
Hurrah! The tents were up, Ben on the left looked very satisfied, I was because it meant I didnt have to fanny around with poles anymore, thats poles with a small p not a capital P. Im not racist. Some of my best friends are poles.
Rich got the frisking of his life going in to the music bit. They obviously missed his massive bottle of woodpecker.
Look, its the Streets, on a stage. They talked over some music and then puzzled everyone by talking about Pizza Express and Sloppy Giuseppes. We were far back but they had microphones so it was OK.
They got people to jump a lot, so when they jumped, we pushed forward and ended up on the second row. White Van Man knew our game though, and glared at us with his bald head.
Enough guitar music, we had partying to do, Rave! Rave! Reach for the lasers! Party like its 1999.
George Best in front obviously wasnt impressed, and kept doing 'wanker' signs. The DJ didnt seem to notice though
Eventually we had enough to and went back to the tent, Matt struggled to get his gigantic legs in, but everyone seems happy enough.
What are we laughing at? Is it a girl falling over? Is it a boy in a chickens pelt? Is it uneven breasts?
No its Kieran, he is quite funny so it really does explain it.
Enough hilarity, we watched a band called Tunng in a big tent who were really very good. They all looked a bit homeless though. "Get a haircut" yelled white van man.
The girl in the band looked like a little doll, we all agreed we would like to have sex with her, by that I mean I agreed. Being in a band makes you 15% sexier.
The highlight was Idlewild, they were very good. They played guitars and everyone cheered and sang along. Its exactly what I thought would happen.
Kendal Called us and we came, it was sad to leave, but you cant drink, get deafened and shit on other peoples faeces every day!
More blogs to come, but not about Kendal.
